The Secret Life of Kaizer
by Mademoiselle Cartier
Summary: How does Kaizer REALLY act? Weird and pointless ^.^ Just review it!


The Secret Life of Kaizer By: Karuteru-Ichijouji  
  
Karuteru: I had no idea of what I was thinking when I came up with this...anyhoo, I don't, and sadly never will own Digimon Adventure Zero Two..waaa  
  
********************** ~If you are watching this tape, you are apart of some secret organization, or a VERY important person. If you are neither of those, THEN GET RID OF THIS TAPE! NOW! NOW! NOW I SAY!~ Coughing sound effects ~Today, we are investigating the one who calls himself "The Digimon Kaizer" An odd species, he is. Well, we decided to call him "Blue Tyrant", or just "Blue" for short. We have hidden various cameras in every room of Blue's habitat.~  
  
We see Kaizer walk into his throne room and sit down. Wormmon scuttles in behind him.  
  
~Observe as Blue gathers nourishment.~  
  
"WORMMON! Get me one of every kind of sushi! NOW!"  
  
~Astounding.Wormius Greenius, or "Greeny" does all of the hunting for Blue!~  
  
Wormmon returns in moments with a very large platter balanced on top of his head. The platter has many delicious looking types of sushi on it. Kaizer takes it from him. A few moments of silence go by....Kaizer whips out his special black plastic chopsticks and gracefully pops the delicacies into his mouth.  
  
~Amazing!~  
  
Now we see Kaizer in what looks like a bedroom. There are black walls, a black floor, a very large black bed, with a matching black comforter, black book shelves, a black desk, black lamps, and a black computer. Kaizer is sitting at the desk, writing in a black book with a black pen.  
  
~Blue's habitat is very dark. Our camera was camouflaged very well. Our camera cannot see what he is writing, but luckily, he was saying it all out loud.~  
  
"I hate you. You suck. So do people. They suck. The Chosen Children suck. So do Digimon. All Digimon that are not under my power SUCK! Wanna hear EVERYTHING that sucks? School, sitcoms, people that tell me what to do, rabid animals, tightie whities, anything that's not black(or blue/indigo for that matter), jocks, popularity contests, toilet paper, Lucky Charms, the fact that Grim & Evil turned out sucky..the list goes on. I'm glad I have YOU to listen to me! I LOVE YOU, EVIL JOURNAL OF MINE!"  
  
~It appears that Blue is very open to expressing himself. He enjoys ranting, surely.~  
  
Kaizer puts the book in a drawer, and then walks off screen. A few moments later, he comes back wearing "I 3 Wormmon" pajamas. They are also covered with a bunch of little Wormmon (A/N: AWWWWWW! I WANT A PAIR!). Kaizer's still wearing his glasses, and his hair's still up. Head first he literally jumps into bed.  
  
"OWIE! I hit my head!"  
  
A rather large bump becomes visible on top of his head.  
  
~At times like this, Blue must call for the assistance of Green.~  
  
"WORMMON!"  
  
Wormmon scuttles in cheerfully.  
  
"Yes Ken-chan?"  
  
"I HURT MYSELF!"  
  
"Whoa! How the hell did ya-I mean..I will help you!"  
  
Wormmon places a rather large bandage on the rather large bump.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Uh...no.."  
  
"What else can I do?"  
  
"TELL ME A STORY!"  
  
Kaizer has a very childish grin on his face.  
  
"But.But I don't know any.-"  
  
"MAKE ONE UP!"  
  
Wormmon sighs.  
  
"Alright, alright. Once upon a-"  
  
"ZZZZzzzzzZzZzzzZzZzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....."  
  
~Blue slumbers very easily and quickly. We have speeded up his slumber sequence.~  
  
"Ugh...ZzZzZZzZZZzzZZz...Daisuke..ZzzzZZZZzzZz...No Mama, I put the seat down....ZZZZZ..uirehgiuygvbyuthuagvb.....Wormmon..I LOVE YOU! ......SNORE! ZzZZZZzzZZZZzzzzZz.....SNORE!"  
  
~Amazing!~  
  
Kaizer is outside with a bunch of his slaves.  
  
~Blue is very skilled at the art of construction.~  
  
"EVERYONE! BEGIN NOW!"  
  
All of the Digimon slaves quickly build a Dark Tower in less than 10 seconds. Kaizer begins to do some tribal dance around it.  
  
~Astounding! Let us watch that again in slow motion!~  
  
Kaizer uses 2 Gotsumon as chairs and sips lemonade. While he's not looking, the slaves take parts from all of the other Dark Towers lying around to create a new one. Kaizer stands and begins the tribal dance around the "new" tower.  
  
~...Amazing.~  
  
~Hygiene is an important part of life for Blue.~  
  
Kaizer walks into a shower, with conveniently placed bubbles over you know what.  
  
"Heheh...how convenient!"  
  
Water instantly pours down, and Kaizer begins to sing Break Up, REALLY off key.  
  
"La Break Up! Yeah Break Up! Da da da da da...Break up! Uh.....BREAK UP!"  
  
~Watch as Blue squeezes a substance from this odd creature..~  
  
Kaizer squeezes shampoo from a shampoo bottle.  
  
"AGGGGGH! IN MY EYES!!!!!!AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"  
  
~This is all we could get before our camera was destroyed~  
  
THE END!  
  
Karuteru: BWAHAHA! REVIEW! 


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